Day 12 - Fight or Flight

My response is always flight. Hide. Or don't respond. Wait to react until you know what to do. If you DO something it might make it worse than it is. More awkward than it is. More embarrassing. You might say something you realize later you don't mean, and then have to contradict yourself. It could be a mistake. • • • • • I hide from and try to ignore the fact that I'm sinning. • • • The warning sign was on Thursday, when I was meditating on life / praying and the thought of this sin came up. Not to engage in it immediately but the thought and the shame that comes along with identifying sin. My response? "I could wait until this afternoon" ...for what? Wait to turn away and abandon the sin? • • • I didn't even have plans to do the sin between the thought and the planned repentance time. I was just going to wait before I cleansed myself. • • • I let my mind immediately turn to other things and completely forget this transaction... And shamefully avoided thinking about it for the next several days. • • • That was inaction. In that case inaction hurt me so much more than action because I made a deal with the God : I will let you forgive me... On my terms. I said no to the Holy Spirit offering to take care of an issue. That dysfunctional sin was my pet, my comfort. Who wants to lose a pet? Much less give it away. Much less violently remove it from your life. • • • The sermon this week was about the view from Siani v. The view from Zion. Siani's view is of our past and our inability to meet God's standard for relationship but Zion's view is one of God's capability to overcome & the possibility of the future. • • • Am I stopped by sin or empowered by God?• • • • • As a friend of mine has confidently said : I used to struggle with this, but I choose Jesus.